Having spent the last couple of months ducking and weaving to avoid incoming blogger awards - you know the sort of thing, like a chain letter with menaces - I finally failed to dodge the bullet and got nominated for a second Liebster Award.
The heartless gunman responsible for this is Gary Dolman, my evil doppelganger from the North-East of England. I am actually beginning to suspect that we do not just have similar names but he is in fact a Mr Hyde to my Dr Jekyll - or vice versa, take your pick.
Anyway, here are 11 random facts about me:-
1. I hate repetition
2. I hate repetition
3. I really, really hate repetition
4. The only foreign language I speak fluently is English (my native language being 'Mackem')
5. I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up
6. I have recently slipped further down the pecking order in the Dolan household since we acquired a Jack Russell called 'Perseus' (I had nothing to do with the choice of name, by the way)
7. I have visited 71 countries and every continent apart from Antarctica
8. My inside leg is 32" on a good day
9. Rod Stewart and I share the same birthday (although not the same year)
10. When you spell my name backwards, it sounds like something from a poor man's 'Lord of the Rings': Nalod Nohj
11. I hate repetition
Monsieur Dolman's questions to his victims, and my answers, are set out below:-
1. When you start a new piece of writing, do you prepare a plan first? Be honest now!
Yes. I am a complete anal retentive, and besides, the sight of a blank Word document with a flashing cursor is one of the most terrifying sights I can think of. So yes, I plan out a book in hideous detail before I even write a sentence.
2. At what time of day or night do you write most effectively?
I never write effectively, except perhaps in my dreams.
3. Have you ever found yourself secretly trying to use ‘The Force’? (Perhaps to open automatic doors or suchlike)
Of course. Doesn't everybody do this? And isn't it great when it works?
4. Which Hogwarts House could you see yourself being sorted into?
I neither know nor care. Harry Potter bores me witless. Sorry, JK, but there it is.
5. What was your favourite subject at school?
Gynaecology. Well, it would have been anyway. Instead I had to settle for English Literature.
6. If you could spend a day as someone else, who would it be and why?
God. It should be pretty obvious why. The only trouble is, He'd have to exist before I could be Him. (Bet I don't get any hate mail for THAT!!!)
7. Who is your favourite living actor and why?
All my really favourite actors are dead, I'm afraid.
8. Which creature are you the most afraid of?
9. Whom would you give this year’s Nobel Peace Prize to, and why?
Our cat, Molly. She's kinda cool and doesn't actually kill anything. I certainly wouldn't waste the prize on a human.
10. What is the first word that comes into your mind...NOW? Please write it down.
'Polyphiloprogenitive'. The second word that comes into my mind is 'pretentious', and the third word is 'bollocks'.
11. Which part of your body are you most happy with?
The usual part.
The Leibster Award demands that I now nominate other victims to go through the same torment, but being a creature of phuquerie and a closet anarchist, I shall demur. Too many of my blogger buddies have suffered from this particular 'honour' in recent months - so I shall just keep my fingers crossed that the Deity of Random Punishments doesn't smite me down or something. We get more than our fair share of smiting, we do. We few, we happy few, we band of bloggers.