Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Talk to the Hat: Interview with the Vampire

JD  Greetings, fellow humans. Today’s drop-in guest at the Dubai Dungeon is Tina Traverse, author of ‘The Destiny of the Vampire’. How’s the torture rack, Tina?

TT  Peachy.

JD  It’s my latest addition. The old electric chair keeps blowing fuses, so I thought I’d try something a little more … medieval. I picked it up for a song at a local market. Well, not for a song exactly. I traded one of Digby’s kidneys for it. Beautiful workmanship. Give the wheel a turn, Digby.

(Creaking noises)

TT  It’s quite refreshing. I’ve always wanted to be taller. Don't worry about the electric chair: it would have ruined my new hairdo and I had to drain a lot of necks to pay for it.

JD  Now then, Tina, you’re the second writer of vampire novels I’ve had down here after Travis Luedke –

TT  You’ve HAD Travis Luedke? How was he? I always wanted to try Travis myself, he looks so… ah, delicious. (Runs her tongue over her fangs)

JD  Let’s try to keep this clean, shall we?

TT  OK, but dirty is sooo much better.

JD  But the difference between you and Travis is that you are a REAL vampire, aren’t you?

TT  Well … yes and no.

JD  What do you mean? That’s what it says in my notes.

TT  I AM a vampire, but I’m NOT real.

JD  That doesn’t make any sense.

TT  I am a fictional character.

JD  You’re a fictional character?

TT  Yes.

JD  A fictional character who writes vampire novels?

TT  A fictional vampire character who writes vampire novels, to be exact.

JD  You talk rubbish.

TT  Well, you started it.

JD  How can you be fictional? You’re here talking to me and I’m real.

TT  Are you sure about that?

JD  Of course I am. I’m as real as Digby over there.

TT  Digby’s not real. I bit him earlier and there was no blood.

JD  That’s because I replaced it with cleaning fluid. Less maintenance that way. I’ve installed a little valve at the base of his neck so it’s easy to top him up. What did he taste like by the way?

TT  Horrible.

JD  Really horrible or fictitiously horrible?

TT Really horrible.

JD  There you are then, case proven.

TT  Are you ever going to stop waffling and talk about my book and where is that freaking wine you promised me?

JD  Your fictitious book?

TT  My REAL book.

JD  Don’t get smart with me, Ms Traverse. Not unless you want some vervain tipped down your throat. I happen to know you night-crawlers are none too keen on vervain. I read it on Wikipedia so it must be true.

TT  Is it real vervain or imaginary vervain?

JD  (Sighs) OK, let’s talk about the book. ‘The Destiny of the Vampire’. Actually, you talk about it for a bit while I have a beer. A REAL one.

TT  Fine, if you get me a REAL glass of wine and slip some of that tasty vein juice of yours in it while you are at it. I am jonesing for a fix. Your dungeon is a long way from Newfoundland.

JD  Just get on with it.

TT  My book, ‘Destiny of the Vampire’, was inspired by another vampire, a former lover of mine, Paul Wesley(Stefan Salvatore, ‘The Vampire Diaries’) during an interview with the human, Kelly Rippa. The American talk show host asked my divine flaxen haired ex what ‘The Vampire Diaries’ was about. He told her that was about two vampire brothers who were both in love with a human, teenage girl. This sparked my imagination and got me thinking. The media is flooded with the representation of lovelorn vampires and frankly, I am disgusted with the one-sided, one dimensional representation. Of course, as a vampire, my kind are passionate, heroic, kind and loving because we still maintain our human side, but we are also predators and need to feed on human blood to maintain our immorality and awesome power.

JD  Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

TT  But, honestly, John, look at me! I am a flawless specimen! Did you not see me sparkle before you threw me in this dark, dewy hell pit?

JD  Nope.

 TT  Oh well ... I digress. I decided to set the record straight and write about two vampire brothers who suffer a tragic event together and cope by turning to the human self-destructive methods of booze and drugs. One of the main characters, Declan also hides another secret he views as shameful by drinking heavily, getting under every skirt he can find and being an outright snarky son of a b****. Sorry, this is a PG interview, isn’t it?  His brother, Sebastian, swears off human blood and numbs the painful cravings by consuming blood wine – a drug I created. Blood wine is a combination of LSD, cocaine, heroin and ecstasy, all boiled into a liquid and then poured into vials that can be taken straight or poured into other liquids for consumption. Unfortunately, it does not take away the agony of his self-loathing and overwhelming guilt.
Declan and Sebastian get into trouble with the long gangly arm of the law when, during a party, Declan nearly beats the human that was choking the ‘life’ out of his brother, to death. They are forced into rehab where they are assigned a therapist who just happens to be a vampire and Sebastian's long lost love. Aww … okay I got sappy with the love thing between these two, but there is also some sexual tension between the therapist and Declan! The therapist, Hope, uses this sexual tension to find a way to uncover Declan's secret so she can help him recover. Declan and Sebastian have sibling rivalry like other brothers, but the tension between them intensifies because of the secret that they share, binding them.

However, the rivalry gets kicked up a notch when Declan discovers Hope's relationship with his brother, resurfacing an old plan of revenge. You see, Hope has a twin, and it is this twin that Declan had a wild affair with when he was a newborn vampire. He believed that he loved Hope's twin and when Sebastian began spending time with Hope's sister, Declan becomes jealous and formulates  a plot of revenge. However, when Lucy(Hope's twin) dies that plan remains dormant until a chance meeting with Hope at a ball, a century before their reunion at the rehab. Declan wants to steal Hope away from Sebastian, breaking Sebastian's heart, thus committing the ultimate revenge.

Declan, Sebastian and Hope are really a twisted, screwed up triangle. Secrets, lies, addictions, lust…blood, very wicked and screwy. But, my demented mind knows no bounds when I throw another iron in the fire and reintroduce Declan and Sebastian's creator, Christian into the mix with his own agenda - he kidnaps and tortures the trio.

There is sex, violence, love and lots of blood. Which reminds me, where is my blood-laced wine? Come John, give up the good stuff!

 JD  Not a chance. By the way, I love the cover of the book. Any bloke would. The sight of blood dripping from a young woman’s mouth is very erotic because … Actually, I can’t think of a single reason why it should be erotic. But it is.

TT  (Looks at me dubiously) Hmm … Glad you like the cover John, but I am sad to say, that cover will soon be obsolete. My vampire hunter husband became very, very excited about that picture. He probably had the same thought you just did, so I changed it: too many male wet dreams. I’ve tamed it down by putting  a picture of myself front and centre with my two vampire lovers dangling on chains on opposite sides of me, while I wear the key around my neck. Oh, there are roses and lots of blood. Sweet, warm, nourishing ...

JD  (Slaps his own face) Moving on. Any plans for a sequel?

TT  Yes, ‘Destiny of the Vampire’ is a trilogy. Book II, ‘Framed’ is in the editing stage, while Book III is in the planning stage. ‘Destiny of The Vampire II: Framed’ is going to be a treat. While Book I only had whispers of sex, Book II screams sex. To quote Declan and Sebastian "Love … Happiness ... a wedding ... lust ... ghosts ... family secrets ... murder and a false accusation that will leave one of us fighting for our freedom and our life." It also has strippers, nudity and, did I mention, sex? Lots and lots of flesh mingling!

My second favourite activity….  I am hoping to get Book II published by this spring and Book III, well, that remains to be seen, hopefully it will be published this year as well. I am also writing a story about a wife and mother who just happens to be a sin eater and a beautiful and heartbreaking story based on my friend's life. Plus there are other projects that I have been keeping on the back burner that I would like to finish cooking.

JD  God, you talk a lot. OK, we’re done. I’ll get Digby to untie you and you can go prowling the night streets of Dubai sucking on necks. Good luck with finding a virgin in THIS town though.

TT  Not yet.

JD  What?

TT  Don’t untie me yet. Actually I’d like it if you’d get Digby to turn the wheel a few more times. I find the pain quite stimulating.

JD  Really?

TT  Yes, really.

JD  You’re very, very weird.

TT  Look who’s talking! You’re the one who uses torture devices to obtain mundane answers and sells his, its – whatever Digby is – kidney to pay for it! I’d hate for you to be a cop. Ahhhh, that feels so good, Digby! That’s enough though. I am thirsty, let me down now.

Learn more about Tina Traverse by visiting her Amazon Author Page or her blog or follow her on Twitter @TinaTraverse1

'Destiny of the Vampire' is available on Amazon and other good internet retailers.


  1. You let Tina off easy, JD! C'mon, I'm still carrying my electric shock scars from my 'Digby-induced' pain-jabs! Yes, I know she's a lovely lady with a lovely family... However, I must admit that the 'real vampire' had some interesting things to say... You know, I must start reading that genre.

  2. BR, aside from Tina's original book, there are a couple of 'vampire' promotions coming up over the next 10 days. Will give you a note on the details. Just need to fetch some cleaning fluid first to give Digby a top-up ...